My Sister The Moron, A Research Paper by Constanina Elvrina

Princess Tristabelle Elvrina

Researcher: Princess Constantina Elvrina of Clan Elvrina of Golden Land
Research focus: The intelligence level of Princess Tristabelle Elvrina and the detriment it causes to her life

A wide range of incidents has resulted in many questioning this author’s sister, Princess Tristabelle Elvrina’s exact intelligence level. Open speculation within Hildegarde Palace persists she is intellectually frail. After extensive research and talking with my sister, I have concluded Tristabelle has the lowest intelligence level of any elf in the kingdom of Golde Land. Beyond the elven race, she is acts in ways consistent of someone only moderately more intelligent than your average orc.

My research findings incidate Tristabelle owns an incredible inability for critical thought, a failure to learn from past mistakes, and is more gullible than the average fairy child under the age of 10.

In a series of questions, Tristabelle provided me with the following insights:

Constantina: Tristabelle, what is safe sex?
Tristabelle: Why, it is when you lock the door so interlopers can not molest you!

Constanina: This a food wrapper from America. I would like you to read the content of the front label to me.

Tristabelle: M and m-s….M and Miss!

Constantina: Tristabelle, why do you only wear thongs?
Tristabelle: They are much easier for my mate to pry to the side than panties!

Constantina: Tristabelle, I would like to quote an American idiom and you tell me your opinion. “If you look up the word dumb in the dictonary, Princess Tristabelle’s face will be next to it.”
Tristabelle; That is poppycock and faldariddle! I have never done a dictionary photoshoot in my life,

I would have liked to interview Tristabelle further but he stated she had to meet a troll under a bridge about purchasing said bridge. She did not listen to me when I claimed trolls were constant liars and frauds and that the crown already owned that bridge. Tristabelle was found bent over a rock beneath the bridge, her freshly sodomized rear end hiked high into the air.

Further, the research indicates that Tristabelle’s lack of intelligence is a threat to her safety unmatched by any other’s dimwitted nature. In three months of sample size Tristabelle fell for four scams, three traps, and suffered five kidnappings. She states that as a result of these occurrences, she became a sex slave numerous times. The only reason we do not have an accurate number is because Tristabelle declares, “intercourse and counting are two mutually exclusive activities!”

As an aside, it seems Tristabelle has trouble counting past 68. She explains that her math tutor said he would “owe her one” after she performed oral sex upon him.

By researching Tristabelle’s stupidity, and the effects of her captures, I believe, to use a colloquial phrase, “Tristabelle is getting her brains fucked out.” I believe that Tristabelle’s captors are engaging in such rough sex with her that her brain is becoming rattled and damaged. There is no medical or magical precedence for this. But, there is little to explain why she keeps falling for the same traps and believes in such obvious tricks.

Tristabelle told me I should not worry as her captors typically ejaculate in her anus and not on her face. Thus her makeup is “always preserved.”

Shortly after I wrote this summary, Tristabelle went off to chase down a wererabbit passing off counterfeit copper pieces. She chased him to his ‘rabbit hole,” not knowing wererabbits don’t have rabbit holes, and got stuck haflway upon diving in head first. Our sister Astrid, found Tristabelle, stuck in the hole, being sodomized by the wererabbit in question.