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For my original pseudonym everyone thought I was a woman! I was Dacy Alexandria. That “ria” killed my testosterone and led to me being sent dick pics. I got a lot of dick picks. Too many. Actually one would be too many. So I forwarded those to my romance deprived best friend and decided it was time for a change of name. Dacy was a fine first name. George RR Martin even used it Thus no one can deny the greatness of my first name. Actually I thought of changing it to Macy but I thought was to girly and that would invite more dick pics. So the gender-neutral name stuck.

The last name. Well, Alexander didn’t take much t creativity to come from Alexandria. But, it took more time to decide on than you would believe. I asked friends to help with one saying I should be named Dacy Swallows. That was uh less than helpful. I thought of Romanov in honor of Princess Anastasia. But that would have been even more girly which would defeat the whole point and waste my time which I am very good at doing. What I needed was a masculine last name. But it had to be a name that would easily flow after Dacy. A name that would deter dick pics. But, I don’t like most male names (which is why I’d rather have a daughter) so picking a name wasn’t easy. Wasn’t easy until I stopped being a fool and cut the ria off my original pseudonym. Easy decision. Or not.

I missed an opportunity to give myself a real hook or gimmick. Something to stand out with. I could have made myself an exotic dancer by night and an author by day. Beauty and brains. I can dance but certainly not on a pole! I was Prince Charming in Cinderella. Perhaps had I done a little teasing here and there the piece would have been better attended. But if I had this much trouble thinking up a pen name I doubt I could have thought up a decent background. Which is pretty sad to say since my job is to come up with peoples’ backgrounds! But I’m just a guy who plays video games and watches a lot of CW shows. Vampire Diaries being my favorite.

Today I don’t know why I have a pen name. I tell everyone who I am and what I write. It is no big secret who I am or what I do. But I do like my pen name better than my real name. My real name has no jazz, no glamor, it is just sort of there. It exists in the ocean of names with nothing to make it pop out. That is why I am always envious of people with cool names.